Who knew it had been so long?

NOTE: Before we get started, I have posted a new mixtape on the left-hand side of this here blog. If you want a copy, just shoot me an email or leave me a comment or something.

Apparently, my last post was in January. That is absolutely bonkers. Isn't it funny when you get older and you start working 8-hour days, weeks seem like days. Time is an odd duck.

Anyways, figured I'd drop by to weigh in on a few things...

Animal Collective - My Girls

First off, I had to attach my new favorite video for a song that will surely reside in my top 10 for 2009. Be sure to watch the HD version.


"I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status, I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls."

I find it incredible that when I got FEELS a few years ago, the only song that really grew on me was 'Grass'. Now, after the Panda Bear album slowly helped me get acclimated to their sound, I'm all over it. Such a great song, video, and album. If you haven't hunted it down, I would suggest you do that. Immediately.

Art

As many of you already know due to Facebook, I have taken some adventures into creating my own abstract art (with the help of Amber, of course). I'll post anything that's new on here, just like I do on Facebook and if you're ever interested in any of it, just shoot me an email or some kind of message. Perhaps if you don't use the Internet, you could create a Brad signal out of a spotlight and a stencil of a dude with a bowl haircut. Or perhaps you can shoot off rainbow fireworks. I'd like those too. Either way, here are a few pieces we've created up until now.














iPhone features

OK, as everyone knows, I was once 25 years old, cell phone-less and the last of a dying breed of dinosaur that refused (absolutely refused) to get a cell phone. A long distance relationship marked the end of an era. Well, another era has ended -- The Brad Kirby Bobo Cell Phone Era -- it's a lot like the Mesozoic Era in regards to the significance of humanity. Seriously though, I never thought it would happen. I could never see myself paying $100 a month for cell phone service. It just seemed too outrageous. Well, I finally purchased an iPhone and didn't realize that it had the ability to stream Pandora and KEXP/KCRW effectively with no interruptions in service. Holy schnikes! How in the hell did I not know this? If I had known this, I would have been one of those jokers waiting in a cardboard box 6 weeks before they were released. Sheesh! For those of you that haven't made the switch yet, I highly recommend it. I don't really use the iPod function, but I stream KEXP at work and it's a great way to get around the dastardly productivity-increasing website blockers.

New Music

I figured I'd take this opportunity to rate some music I've managed to obtain in 2009. We're going to go with a 5-point scale to avoid any similarities to Pitchfork's ratings.

A.C. Newman -- Get Guilty --- 3.7 - If you like the New Pornos or Carl's first album, there's no reason you shouldn't have this one.

And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - The Century of Self --- 2.8 - Had a hard time getting into it, just like all their other albums.

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion --- 4.8 - SO MUCH FUN!

Bat for Lashes - Bat for Lashes - 2.9 - A little too dark for me, but definitely some good singles.

Beirut - March of the Zapotec/Real People Holland --- 4.4 - Anything Zach Condon touches turns to gold. He's like King Midas!

The Bird and the Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future --- 3.8 - Although I don't think the full album is as good as the first, the singles are certainly better.

The Boy Least Likely To - The Law of the Playground - 4.0 - I've been waiting for this album since The Best Party Ever was released and it doesn't disappoint, especially if you still have a lot of your childhood in you somewhere.

Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career --- 4.1 - Tracy Anne Campbell's voice could make Dio's 'Holy Diver' beautiful.

Cymbals Eat Guitars - Why There Are Mountains - TBD - Haven't been able to spend a lot of time with this one yet. Could be a 2, could be a 4.

The Decemberists - Hazards of Love --- 2.0 - I swear you would never have seen any other Decemberists album rated lower than 4.0 and yet this one is impenetrable. I just can't get into it. Ugh.

DOOM - Born Like This - 3.9 - I love DOOM in all of his shapes and sizes.

Faunts - Feel.Thinking.Love.Of. --- 4.2 - If not for any other reason than the Title Track is phenomenal.

Fever Ray - Fever Ray --- 2.0 - As of now, it's a 2.0. Check back with me in a year and it will probably be a 5. That's just the way The Knife was and that'll be just the way Fever Ray is.

Alright... we're going to stop with the Fs and I'll continue the rest of what I've discovered in the next few days hopefully. PTI is beckoning. Therefore, I must depart. Until next time....

!Sir Braddles!

How to work in cold weather and Goodbye Mr. Bush!

Things you've always wanted to know with Brett Shankles

If there's one thing I've ever wanted in my life, it's for John Elway to tell me how to work in cold weather while wearing a hard hat in shades. Well, folks, strike that one off the list.



I was extremely disappointed that he didn't seize the opportunity to finally get his Flag Day poem aired. However, now I know not to handle nuts with thick gloves on. Thanks Hard Hat Brett!


Goodbye, Mr. Bush!

Saw this on the Huffington Post. It's an ad for a company that does Brazilian waxes and waxes of other junk that would be uncomfortable. Found it humorous.




I'll just say this. Despite what's going on in my life and the world, I have a feeling tomorrow morning, I'll wake up with just a bit more hope and a bit more rejuvenated. Can't guarantee it, but I'd probably put money on it. As totally lame-o as it sounds, I think I had lost faith in America. Glad to see I recovered some of it. Now, back to Wife Swap!

HAHA! Seriously though, I don't watch Wife Swap. I'm watching The Biggest Loser hoping I can someday get fat enough to be on it. Fat Brad! Woot!

G'day!

-bk

Pros-teste-tics.

I have had this conversation before and I will have it again.

Let's say you have testicular cancer. Not you, specifically, b/c that would just be f'ed up. But someone has testicular cancer or testicular torsion or has their girlfriend walk on their marbles with high heels on, whatever...

So, in order for this person to not be in extreme amounts of pain or die, they have to have both testicles removed. What would they do?

I have requested opinions from most of those around me and have gotten various responses.

Do they...

A) Leave a ball-less sac hanging from your rod like an elderly person's elbow skin?
B) Fill the sac will walnuts or some other totally rad prosthetic? (I would put gummy bears in mine, so I'd always have backups)
C) Cut both the sac and the balls off so all there is is a shaft with no bag o' plums.

After having this conversation 1000 times (even more than the 'Which way does a ceiling fan spin?' conversation), I decided to do some research. Turns out most people get prosthetics. Since they usually get to the balls through an inguinal excision to get everything, they wouldn't cut the entire sac off, which I thought was unlikely from the beginning (BRIAN!). They also do not fill it with gummy bears, although I bet if you slid the surgeon some cash under the table, they'd fill it with something cool like bubbles.

How great would that be if you could blow bubbles out of your unit! I'm totally doing it!

I hope that piqued your interest.

Brad. Out.

LOOK! ELBOW SKIN! OR AN EMPTY SAC!

The Post Office

So, what is up with the post office? I'm not sure how it works across the country but every time I go into the one next to my condo complex, it shocks me. Not like when a 28-year old dude throws up the shocker, but almost as much.

These are the reasons I generally leave with my jaw hitting the floor like a cartoon character...

A) The line is usually like 46 people long. Especially around the holidays. I understand that I'm one of those people, so I can't really rant on why everyone waits til the holidays. But I can rant about how the postal workers generally do not change their pace whether there's one dude in line or the million man march shows up to send packages...

B) My favorite part of today was when a dude dressed in full fatigues came in the door, saw the line, and yelled 'JESUS CHRIST' loud enough for everyone to hear and then walked back out. Tis the season...

C) Why is it that it always seems like the people scraped out of the sewers are the people that are standing in line at the post office. The dude in front of me looked like he hadn't showered since Jesus was actually born. I seriously don't think there was more than two full sets of teeth in the 46-person line. Sometimes my mind wanders off and I see the Toxic Avenger and Rocky Dennis on either side of me while I wait...

D) I'm going to paint you a picture. 46-person line (there weren't actually 46, but I took a number and ran with it), two postal workers actually working, while two were walking around behind them not doing anything. One of the guys took over 25 minutes to get a package shipped for one lady. Now kids, let's do some math. Let's say he takes half of the customers (23) times 25 minutes to send each package. That's 9 1/2 hours. I swear to you that watching this guy move was like I had hit the Slow Motion button on my NES Advantage. It was alright though, b/c after he was done with her package, he disappeared. Getting that one together was just too much for him.

E) The people directly in front of me in line sat in the super long line. Got up there with 2 packages. First package, no problem. I then ran down the line of 46 people giving fives to everyone except for the kids who were acting unruly who I slapped in their dome. Only one more chance for the postal office and these people to screw this up....... And then it happened.

The lady gave the wrong zip code for the package. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Then, the postal worker did something peculiar. She told the lady (who was between 140 and 1000 years old) to walk over to a postal code book and give her the zip code for Miami, Florida. Apparently the lady with the package AND the postal worker had no idea that big cities have about 25 zip codes. So, of course, you can predict what happened. The lady sat looking at the book for 10 minutes. Then the postal worker had to go over there to help her for another 10 minutes. Then, they decided to only mail the first package. Wow.

So, the question I have is this. Why is it called going Postal? Why is it that postal workers are the ones that lose it? Shouldn't it be the people in line at the Post Office? I think we need to re-evaluate this.

Seriously, if I have to go in there again, I'm going to go 'in the line Postal' and start 'stamping' people out. I'm not even joking. I'll 'deliver' a blow they've never even seen before. And the bruises will be my 'delivery confirmation'.

It's here. The Top 40 Songs of 2008

As I do every year, I'll begin with the rules regarding this list and its pending distribution.

1. This is my Top 40, so while I encourage debate regarding any entries, I suggest you do not rag me too hard if you want a copy.

2. If you would like a copy of this CD (friends, enemies, former prostitutes, storm troopers, Decepticons, whatever, etc.), all you have to do is drop me an email (bwkirby [at] gmail.com) No cost to you. I'll pack it up as an mp3 CD and send it. All I need is your address piece and a bit of love. (NOTE: If you have not requested my top 40 of 2007 and my top 20 of 2006, I'll be glad to include those on the CD, so you can get a nice round Top 100 of the last three years, just let me know)

3. I have focused mainly on indie music as that tends to be my forte. I'm hoping Brian will be doing a Top 20 of Hip-Hop so I can refer you there. I will most likely include 5 songs that I find to be great from the hip-hop world, but we'll see how this goes first.

4. Every year I ask this, and every year I have very few people respond. If you're going to read this and request a CD, I ask that you put your top 5 or 10 in the Comments section of the blog. It helps facilitate discussion and perhaps I (or someone else) will be able to pick up some new music based on your suggestions.


NOW, FOR THE TOP 40.

# Band - Song (Album)

#40 Tilly and the Wall - Dust Me Off (O)

When I created a beginning to this list in August, this song was much higher. However, I've found a lot of music since then and I've come to realize that this song is pure pop. Great and catchy the first 100 times you hear it and then, like Juicy Fruit, it loses its flavor. Catchy though and for those of you who enjoy upbeat pop with a girl singer, I definitely suggest it. (For fans of The Bird and the Bee, The Pipettes)

#39 Wolf Parade - California Dreamer (At Mount Zoomer)

Let me start with this. There is nothing on At Mount Zoomer that even approaches I'll Believe In Anything from 'Apologies to the Queen Mary'. However, California Dreamer certainly has a place in my heart especially when it reaches the completely rawking part at 1:10. (For fans of Sunset Rubdown, Tapes n Tapes)

#38 Lindstrom - The Long Way Home (Where You Go I Go Too)

This is probably the least accessible song on my list, but I find it to be the best song on the list to zone out to. The accessibility lacks because of the electronic component of the song where it builds off the previous beats like Daft Punk or The Crystal Method. Much, much slower than either of those two though. The other reason it probably won't be accessible to a lot of you is the length, clocking in at almost 16 minutes. That's like 16 times your normal attention span! (For fans of ecstasy, The Beverly Hills Cop theme song, Daft Punk)

#37 High Places - From Stardust (High Places)

Such a gorgeous song. Slow and dreamy with just enough distortion in her voice. Plus there's a certain ping pong that goes off every once in a while that brings a smile to my face for some reason. I don't necessarily like this song as much as I did Jump In (for Gilkey Elementary School) that was on their EP from either 2006 or 2007, but it definitely still falls in the Top 40 of this year. (For fans of Broadcast, Stereolab)

#36 Santogold - I'm a Lady -- feat. Trouble Andrew (Santogold)

Another song that was pretty far up my list earlier in the year, but has fallen like Tonya Harding recently. Great song, but tends to lose it's earection ability the more you listen to it. The chorus is just phenomenal though. (For fans of M.I.A., Esthero)

#35 Okkervil River - Lost Coastlines (The Stand Ins)

A band that actually appeared on the 2007 countdown with Unless It's Kicks came out with another album in 2008 and this is by far my favorite song on the album. Lost is some of the folky, slow components of The Black Sheep Boy and the last two albums have increased their tempo as well as their fame. Saw them earlier this year opening for The New Pornographers and I actually preferred their set to the New Pornos, which for me is borderline blasphemy. (For fans of Calexico and Blitzen Trapper)

#34 I'm From Barcelona - Mingus (Who Killed Harry Houdini?)

I'm From Barcelona was one of my favorite albums from 2007 and it's relatively devastating to see that they changed their style so much from their last album. However, Mingus was definitely the highlight for me as it's probably the most fun song on the album lyrically and musically. (For fans of The Polyphonic Spree and The Boy Least Likely To)

#33 Subtle - Exiting Arm (Exiting Arm)

Picked this album up earlier this year on Pitchfork's recommendation. "Exiting arm, the pit and alabaster ascension." If you can tell me what that means, then you are weirder than I am. Great, great stuff. Might take a few listens though, so be patient. (For fans of The Notwist, Deerhunter)

#32 The Bug - Poison Dart -- feat. Warrior Queen (London Zoo)

Wow. I haven't listened to a hell of a lot of Dance Hall since my brother got me into Tippa Irie back when I was a kid. This chorus of this song has a tendency to get in your head and stick there. In that way, it is kind of like a bug. A tick. That just burrows in your brain and keeps tapping its leg on your ear. If anyone can identify more than 10 words in this song, then you might win a prize. I find myself trying to sing along and then I realize I'm speaking gibberish. Thus far, I have 'poison dart', 'warrior', and 'trigger'. (For fans of Tippa Irie, maybe Eek-a-Mouse)

#31 Islands - Creeper (Arm's Way)

Oh Islands. How thou hast disappointed me this year. Return to the Sea was such a phenomenal album and then you follow it up with Arm's Way. THEN, I go to see you and you play like two songs off 'Return to the Sea' and the whole 'Arm's Way' album. Ugh. Either way, Creeper is the closest thing to Jogging Gorgeous Summer, Rough Gem, and Swans. And it's catchy as hell so prepare yourself to be humming this more than you hum Careless Whisper by Wham!. (For fans of Honeycut and Imperial Teen)

#30 Ruby Suns - Tane Mahuta (Sea Lion)

Oh Ruby Suns. I dream of one day sitting on a tropical beach with some kind of fruity blue drink listening to Tane Mahuta and Oh Mojave and just closing my eyes and feeling the sun. I was pretty upset when I had tickets to see Spoon and found out the Ruby Suns were playing at the Boot. I had to miss them and it was terrible. I would suggest this music to pretty much everyone. (For fans of happiness, the beach, and Hawaii)

#29 Why? - By Torpedo or Crohns (Alopecia)

A late arrival to the list, but it's moved up with a quickness. Not too many times you get to hear a white dude sort of rap about throwing up on his shoes and shitting his pants. Either way, it's great great stuff. I think you'll see Alopecia on a lot of Top 20 lists this year. (For fans of Butthole Surfers - Pepper)

#28 Stereolab - Cellulose Sunshine (Chemical Chords)

Stereolab can do no wrong. Laetitia Sadier has one of the most distinct voices of the last 15 years and it's a shame it's taken me until the last two years before I've fallen in love with everything they do. Pretty hard not to be happy listening to Stereolab in my opinion. (For fans of Stereolab (duh!)

#27 The Uglysuit - Brad's House (The Uglysuit)

B/c it's called Brad's House. That, and they played at the Boot. Speaking of The Boot story, I called some friends, got them to go down there for dinner and to see The Uglysuit a few months ago. Well, lo and behold, we went down the day before and I had to miss the show. It's the first time in my life that I realized that I can't read a calendar. No wonder I never remember anyone's birfdays. (For fans of The Shins, Bright Eyes)

#26 Cut Copy - Lights and Music (In Ghost Colours)

Cut Copy is a band that's had praise heaped on it this year and I'm sure it'll show up on some Top whatever lists on Pitchfork, Treble, and other music mags. However, I managed to wrangle this album too early in the year and it's now plummeted down the list b/c I played the hell out of this song. Real dancy disco type shit. (For fans of LCD Soundsystem, Ratatat)

#25 The Magnetic Fields - Courtesans (Distortion)

As much as I'd dedicate my life to Stephen Merritt and the rest of the Magnetic Fields, this album disappointed the hell out of me. Too fuzzy and distorted (Guess that was the point when it's called Distortion) for me. Either way, I fell in love with Courtesans and then I double fell in love with it when I found out what a courtesan was. Man, not only can I not read a calendar, I have a limited vocabulary. (For fans of Stereolab, Jens Lekman)

#24 The Helio Sequence - Can't Say No (Keep Your Eyes Ahead)

Much more accessible than a lot of songs on this list. Highly recommend The Helio Sequence

"Captivate, cultivate, relegate and chalk it up to the basic needs
Dissipate, isolate, these days you can't run or believe all that you read
And all the kids with the down-low brainwaves
Holding up signs saying "guns kill, gods saves"
And all in the form of the faceless news cast
Commercials that say live well but die fast"

(For fans of Field Music, The Killers)

#23 Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone (Youth Novel)

Sat on this album for a good 3 months before I had time to dig it out and really give it a listen. This song instantly popped out in front of the others and I find it to be in the line of some of my favorite Swedes (The Cardigans, Jens, etc.)



(For fans of The Cardigans, Lucky Soul)

#22 Katie Herzig - I Will Follow (Apple Tree)

Was prepared to go see her at the Boot and lost my motivation that evening. After seeing her on the Boot's concert line-up, I looked her up on MySpace and got the album for free just for referring 5 friends to the website. It was a pretty rad set-up and I've thanked my friends for letting me spam them ever since. A really really great pop album. Struggled between 'I Will Follow' and 'Hologram', but I think I made the right decision. (For fans of Rilo Kiley, Feist)


#21 Passion Pit - I've Got Your Number (Chunk of Change EP)

Wow. Just wow. I only picked up this album a few weeks ago and it's shot right up my list. Talk to me in January and let's see if it jumped any higher. Everyone knows how much I love handclaps! I mean, I'm being totally serial, they're like a drug. I'm strung out on handclaps! Shout out to Amber on this one as she gave me the head's up on Passion Pit from her adventures into KEXP at work. Good Lord, I wish I could listen to KEXP at work... stupid anti-streaming IT dept. (For fans of Sally Shapiro, The Tough Alliance)

#20 Land of Talk - Some Are Lakes (Some Are Lakes)

Why is it that I don't really like Broken Social Scene? Every single solo album from past or present members I tend to love, but then can't actually love BSS? Feist, Kevin Drew, Land of Talk, Jason Collett, Makes no sense. Either way, Elizabeth Powell does a great job with Some Are Lakes and is currently getting a hell of a lot of play on XMU (on XM-Sirius). (For fans of Broken Social Scene, Kevin Drew)

#19 The Notwist - Gloomy Planets (The Devil, You + Me)

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SONG!

"Like all the cars in NY
Like all the lights on New Year
Like all these gloomy planets
You know they stay"

(for fans of Parts & Labor, Midlake)

#18 Amplive - Videotapez (ft. Del the Funkee Homosapien) (Rainydayz Remixes)

I have to admit. I love Del's voice. Always have and even though I don't like a whole hell of a lot of his solo stuff, every time he contributes to someone else's stuff, it's typically amazing. So, him rapping over Radiohead's Videotapes? Well, you just can't beat that. Amplive does an amazing job remixing 'In Rainbows', and if you don't already have it, I suggest you download it...

(For fans of The Gorillaz 'Clint Eastwood', Radiohead, Hieroglyphics)

#17 The Submarines - You, Me and the Bourgeoisie (Honeysuckle Weeks)

Ugh, iTunes, why do you ruin so many things? Found out about The Submarines earlier this year on a video podcast from KCRW. Well, guess what, iTunes put it one of their commercials and now it has been played on TV about 17,000,000 times. Not that there's something wrong with that, but it has a tendency to beat my ears down a bit to where it's not as readily listenable. So, Thanks Poons at iTunes! (For fans of The Delgados, Stars)

#16 The Little Ones - Morning Tide (Morning Tide)

Picked up on The Little Ones thanks to a Roy Lenn Facebook message saying they were coming to Charlottesville. Figured I'd check it out and I'm glad I did. Have since heard this song on XM a few times. I have to say that I love the doo dooo doots in the background. And the Sunday, Sunday, ladada! Such a catchy song. I dare you to listen to it and not sing along. Heads will be bobbing everywhere as The Little Ones take over the world!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! (For fans of Earlimart, Belle and Sebastian)

#15 Frightened Rabbit - The Modern Leper (The Midnight Organ Fight)

"Well I crippled your heart a hundred times
And still can't work out why
You see I've got this disease I can't shake
And I'm just rattling through life
Well this is how we do things now
Yeah this is how the modern stay scared
So I cut out all the good stuff
Yeah I cut off my foot to spite my leg
Well is that you in front of me?
Coming back for even more of exactly the same
You must be a masochist to love a modern leper on his last leg"

I just really love this song. Scott Hutchison writes a mean song. Word. (For fans of Billy Bragg, Rock Plaza Central)

#14 Beach House - Some Things Last a Long Time (Devotion)

The greatest 'Time to go to bed' music in the world. There's nothing that is more haunting and relaxing than this song. So gorgeous and I have a hard time shaking the 'Your picture.... is still... on my wall.... on my wa-a-aa-al....' It's like the world has slowed down and the only things that are left are you and this song. Craziness.

(For fans of The Fiery Furnaces, Portishead)

#13 Of Montreal - Gallery Piece (Skeletal Lamping)

"I want to make you come... 200 times a day..."

That's all that needs to be said.

I missed Of Montreal in Richmond for my high school reunion. What a sad, sad day...

(For fans of Of Montreal, Apples in Stereo, Gang Gang Dance)

#12 TV on the Radio - Halfway Home (Dear Science)

Saw TV On the Radio a few years ago at The Norva and it was an incredible show despite the 96X crowd taking it over. I hope they decide to come back for this album. Definitely one of my Top 5 albums of 2008. I had a really hard time choosing between 'Dancing Choose' and 'Halfway Home', but 'Halfway Home' wins based on staying power. I really think that I'd get bored of 'Dancing Choose' before too long. Is it TV on the Radio's production that makes them so good? I can't figure it out. Incredible song though. (For fans of Sigur Ros and NMH's 'Ghost')

#11 Portishead - Magic Doors (Third)

I've never listened to Portishead much before, but with much Brian encouragement, I decided to obtain it and give it a try. This is their newest single off the album and in the vein of Beach House, I find this song to be haunting as hell. Maybe it's because someone is playing a tin can through most of the song. Beth Gibbons voice is incredible. I don't care how depressing Portishead can be, Gibbons's voice is worth the depression alone. (For fans of Massive Attack and Air)


AND THE TOP 10!!!!!!


#10 The Walkmen - Red Moon (You & Me)

After 'A Hundred Miles Off', The Walkmen's last album, I wouldn't say I was real amped for this album release. I liked 'Louisiana' from the last album enough (made my top 20 of 2006), but the album didn't approach 'Bows + Arrows. I saw them this year and the opened for Spoon and while the highlight of their concert will ALWAYS be 'The Rat', this song opened up my mind some for this new album. Well, I got the album, and it ranks at #10. Who knew? (For fans of Spoon and Peter, Bjorn, and John)

#9 Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal (Fleet Foxes)

'I was following the pack
all swallowed in their coats
with scarves of red tied 'round their throats'

A beautiful song about kids taking a trip into the snow. The shortest song in the Top 40.

(For fans of M. Ward, Grizzly Bear)

#8 Beck - Chemtrails (Modern Guilt)

Beck + Danger Mouse? Wha-wha-what?!?! Yeah, it happened and Modern Guilt was the result. I want to play the drums on this song on Rock Band. Please. Please put this song on Rock Band. I'm not sure why I've become such a Beck fan over the years. I guess it's his versatility. Each record, he surprises me and that's something you don't get in a lot of artists. (For fans of Cake, Radiohead)

#7 MGMT - Time to Pretend (Oracular Spectacular)

Open with scary noises. Add guitar. Add video game keyboards. Drop the beat. Start singing. Wow, this song gets me amped. I have an odd feeling that they have accomplished all of their goals that they set in the lyrics of this song.

Live fast and die young.

(For fans of Islands 'Return to the Sea', The Arcade Fire)

#6 She & Him - Sentimental Heart (Volume One)

Oh Zooey. Oh Zooey. Who knew that your voice was so incredible? I just figured that when you were singing in Elf, it was someone else (Milli Vanilli style). Well, I was wrong and you and M. Ward have produced a top 5 album in my book. In the style of Jenny Lewis and Neko Case, but happier. I suggest it to every girl in the world.

(For fans of Jenny Lewis, Neko Case, Jem)

#5 Plants and Animals - Bye Bye Bye (Parc Avenue)

Plants and Animals has it right. From the piano at the beginning, which is so minimal to the background harmony of BYE BYE BYE! It's all right. When I heard about this band earlier in the year, I didn't trust their name. Plants and Animals sounds a bit folky to me, but turns out I was wrong.



(For fans of Fleet Foxes, Animal Collective -- Animals stick together)

#4 The Dodos - Fools (Visiter)

Fo, Fo, Fo-ooooool.



(For fans of Andrew Bird, The Broken West)

#3 Sigur Ros - Gobbledigook (Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust)

For video, click HERE.

I've never REALLY enjoyed Sigur Ros before I heard 'Gobbledigook' -- ok, I did love Hoppipolla, but alas, they have convinced me with the song and then convinced me with the video. The first time I've ever posted nudity on my blog. Enjoy that, dudes! (P.S. I'd love to drum naked in the woods at some point in my life)

(For fans of Bjork, TV on the Radio)

#2 Stephen Malkmus - Gardenia (Real Emotional Trash)

I would marry Malkmus. For serious. I'd be gay.



(For fans of Pavement, Sleater-Kinney)

AND THE #1 SONG OF 2008.....

#1 Thao Nguyen and the Get Down-Stay Down - Bag of Hammers (We Brave Bee Stings and All)





By far... no questions asked... my favorite song of 2008. Hope you all enjoyed the list. Don't forget to request a copy if you want one! Have a great holiday season.

Your pal, BK

P.S. BRIAN'S TOP 20 HIP-HOP ALBUMS HAVE BEEN POSTED. CHECK THEM HERE.

The best moustache since Tom Selleck.

... IS GONE.

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how my dad shaved off all of his facial hair.

Seriously.

He did it.

I go by to see him today to pick up some rad t-shirts that I'm collecting in my arsenal of rad t-shirts and I go upstairs and sure enough, no moustache. Now, for all of you who have known my father for a long time, you've never known him to not have a moustache. Well, neither had I. In my entire life, I've never seen him without his lip caterpillar. No more moustache rides for moms. (Brad, that was just nasty) Seriously, it's like I stepped through my front door into Bizarro world. I was half-expecting my mom to come home as a midget with size 23 shoes. Wait til you see it... it's like the world's in perfect harmony. He's officially retired and he's officially clean shaven. What an unpredictable ladykiller...

A NEW FEATURE: IHBFM

A new feature of the blog is going to be added. It's called, 'I Hear Brad Freebases Music' (IHBFM). To your left where 'Songs I've Been Listening To' used to reside will be a list of the songs on my most recent mix CD (it would be a tape, but I know you damn jokers don't have a cassette deck). Well, if you want it, you got it. Just check out what's on the mix and shoot me an email letting me know what you want and where to send it. I'll cover the cost of shipping and the CD. You cover the cost of listening and perhaps a thank you hummer. Unless you're a dude. Then you can just buy me a beer, dance with two cell phones like it's a rave, or recite Brett's Flag Day poem at a large Republican event. Whichever you'd prefer.

Flag Day

You know what they have at Flag Day celebrations? Parades.

You know what are really fun? Parades.

Do you know what that makes Flag Day? Fun.

This is what we call deductive reasoning and this is something I learned from my friend Brett's poem. Flag Day has parades. Parades are fun. Therefore, Flag Day must be fun.

Just something you all should think about next time you're stepping out of the house without an American flag pin, not saying the Pledge of Allegiance, or butchering the National Anthem without your hand over your heart. Sinners....

Return of the Kirbi.

And you thought I was dead....

I either have great ghostwriting skills, or I'm here in the flesh and boobs. Get it? Ghostwriting skills? Of course, if I was a ghost, I would also have to help women make pottery, which is lame. I have to cover about 6 months of my life in one post b/c I'm a stupid, sorry, lazy bastard who plays Halo instead of writing a blog that three people read so buckle up, Chuckles, here we go.

NETFLIX

Who knew there was somewhere you could get movies on the Internets? Here I am carrying my ass over to Cockbusters to pay $5 for a movie that will most likely suck and I only get it for 2 days. Well, I managed to get motivated to dig deep into the bowels of the interweb and pull up this diamond of a website called Netflix. Yeah, I realize everyone already has it. Yeah, I realize everyone already knows about it. I'm late. I get it.

I know, you're asking yourself right now, "where's the inevitable Brett Shankles technology-deficiency joke?" Well, my friends, I'm devastated to share with you that he beat me to the punch. He was rating everything one star way before I ever got my first red envelope. So, here's to Brett, for peering out from behind his abacus to beat me to a punch. You dirty rat bastard.


Riverside >>> SENTARA

As many of you already know, I've changed jobs from Cancer Registry Supervisor at Riverside to Cancer Information Manager at Sentara. What does that mean? I'll sum it up for you in two words. Benedict. Arnold.

Concerts

Been to a few shows recently. I realized the other day that I have been to a LOT of shows in my years. But I crave it like Amy Winehouse craves crack smoke. A lot.



Well, I saw Spoon at the Norva earlier this year and I have to admit, they lived up to the decade of eager waiting I've enjoyed since my brother first dished me Telephono. They've obviously come a hell of a long way since their semi-grunge punk of Telephono, but Britt Daniel definitely impressed live. I had actually written the band prior to going to play something off of Telephono b/c they rarely do and they happened to play the song I requested (The Government Darling), but I'm not sure if that was due to my totally radical email or if they just felt like wailing and screaing.

If you don't have any of their albums, I suggest Ga Ga Ga Ga first probably b/c it's the newest, and then I'd go Girls Can Tell, Kill the Moonlight, Telephono, Series of Sneaks, and Gimme Fiction. Just a suggestion.

Less Than Jake

Sorry, I took this with a HANDycam. I'm a joker.

So, I managed to wrangle VIP tickets for the Less Than Jake show at the Norva and I was a bit skeptical but being that Brian and I had listened to them in the past, I figured it would be a decent time for a Sunday night. Well, it was worth every minute b/c it threw me back to my early days of punk and ska and how pumped it made me. Watching kids dance around and get in a mosh pit and the energy that LTJ still has after being around for so long is certainly something to witness. Highlights had to be 'Automatic', 'All My Best Friends are Metalheads', and of course, "Johnny Quest Thinks We're Sellouts'.

ISLANDS


I actually went to see Islands last night. Dave managed to get down from the RIC to catch the show with me and we were a bit disappointed. Dave had managed to see them in DC when only 'Return to the Sea' was out. Well, guess what folks, Islands is one of those bands that SELLS their new album. They played the entire new album and three songs off of Return to the Sea. Swans and Rough Gem were played, but I certainly could have used 'Don't Call Me Whitney, Bobby' or 'Jogging Gorgeous Summer'.

That's pretty much a summary of the shows I've been to. I saw the New Pornographers at Toad's Place in RVA, but it just wasn't really worth noting. It actually kind of depressed me. If I manage to hunt down any setlists for these three shows, I'll post them.

One last tidbit...

You know how you're one of the pussiest people alive? You find yourself at your work desk in the middle of a Monday morning pumping your fist and singing along with 'I wanna know what love is' by Foreigner. What has become of me? Damn VH1 Top 100 80s songs. Seriously, after I realized I was doing it, I started cussing like Matt Garrett at 10-year olds on Halo. Fuck that kid!

Until next time, folks. It should be soon 'cause I have other topics to talk about. I just don't want to make this thing too long and unreadable. Topics in the future:
Kickball results
Movie reviews
Top 10 albums of 2008 (thus far)
Flag Day and what is means to me
Things I've learned recently
And how I learned to make a sex robot!

Be sure to tune in!

- BK

He Then Took Shape of a Lion! and other tidbits!

Just wanted to let everyone know of some of the music I've been listening to lately. Come up with some really great stuff since the Top 40 of 2007 was distributed widely. Hope all those that received it curl up with it at night and I hear if you leave it under your pillow, the Brad fairy will come and leave you another few mixes. Although that could just be rumor... you never know which fairies are real!

So... let's see... let me look in my grab bag and see what I've gotten recently. OK.

#1 - He Then Took Shape of a Lion - A New Home EP


So, this guy MySpace befriended me and I have to extend my deep gratitude for that b/c this EP is phenomenal. I suppose I'm a bit up for instrumental mood music type stuff like Lymbyc Systym, so this is right up my alley. It's an EP and it's short, but good Lord, the potential is definitely there to make an incredible album. Now he just needs to get it pressed on vinyl...

Brian's been nice enough to post all of his EP for free on his MySpace page, so if you listen to music at all and enjoy having something to listen to when hanging out with friends or something to wake up to on your iHome, definitely check it out immediately. Seriously fuckers, it's free. Take advantage of Brian's generosity. Listen, enjoy.

Fav Songs - Paper Clouds and Albino Scouts. Grrrrrrrrreat like Tony the Tiger or something.


#2 Panda Bear - Person Pitch


Holy crapzilla, Batman! Let me get this off my chest... I don't like Animal Collective. Something about it is too weird for me, so when Panda Bear was getting rave reviews and Brian G. was making me hate pandas because they're stupid, it made me reluctant to get this b/c my first impression was that it would be weird and stupid. However, I can definitely see how it was #1 on Pitchfork's Top 100 this year. It's incredible. The hazy vocals and the incredible music/sounds help me find something new with each listen. I've decided that this album is a better wake-up/study album than My Bloody Valentine and that's something I never thought could be surpasses. Guess it just shows that records are meant to be broken. Even personal records.

Fav Songs - Bros, Take Pills, Comfy in Nautica, Good Girl/Carrots

#3 Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger


So, I should put out the Disclaimer yet again that I have never been a big fan of Ryan Adams. It was always too country and I always heard he was a huge dick. For some reason, the way people act sort of makes me love or hate them. And for some reason, I was biased against Ryan Adams. Well, a friend has been pushing me to listen to him fooooorever, so I decided to take a chance. First time through, I was not a happy camper, but I've grown to love it. Pearls on a String and Two have been in my head for a few days now and I don't think they'll be vacating the premises anytime soon. If you're into alt-country (a bit more country than Wilco), than you should already have this album. But that's only if you're cool. Otherwise, you probably listen to Faith Hill and Kenny Chesney.

Fav Songs - Pearls on a String, Two, and The Sun Also Sets

#4 Lupe Fiasco - The Coolest


Oh, Lupe Fiasco. Thanks for improving your cover art. Good Lord, there's only so much I could say about the last one that reminded me of Blake from American Idol's terrible new album "Audio Daydream". Seriously that's the worst name of an album ever. But either way, I could make some cover art with a lite-brite. Thanks for improving it Lupe.

So now to the album. Brian G. pushed me to get it for a while and I only listened to the first one a few times b/c I'm not the biggest hip-hop fan in the world. However, this album got under my skin and has been spun numerous times as I find it fantastic. I even managed to steal Brian's girlfriend to go to the show with me. Everything's thematic (Gotta Eat and Little Weapon). It's fast (specifically Go Go Gadget Flow and The Die). It's smart (everything). If you like hip-hop, I would question why you do not have this album yet?

Fav Songs - Go Go Gadget Flow, Superstar, Paris Tokyo, and The Die

#5 Magnetic Fields - Distortion


I was worried Stephin Merritt and the gang wouldn't be making anymore music as Magnetic Fields, but they pulled a fast one and released their new album, Distortion, in January. I haven't had a good deal of time with this album yet, but I would have to say that it's not 69 Love Songs, and it's not I. It's probably more in the vein of some of their earlier stuff, i.e. Get Lost. Either way, it's incredible. In fact, the Magnetic Fields are always incredible. Would give you more of an analysis here, but like I said I haven't gotten enough to absorb it yet. If you're a Magnetic Fields fan though, I suggest you grab it. You might not have even known they came out with a new one.

Fav Songs to Date - California Girls, Too Drunk to Dream, I'll Dream Alone, and The Nun's Litany

Well, Newcastle's playing Bolton on TV right now, so I'm going to watch that. I'll hit you all up with that 30 Rock Blog at some point in the near future. Love you all for reading. Hope to see or talk to you soon.

- Brad

Give this man a hand...

...For microwaving his hand. I check CNN daily at work just to try and catch up with what's going on in the news these days and every now and then I'll come across some tidbit of goodness that makes me laugh out loud. Today, this is what CNN gave me.

I just don't understand this guys logic. I understand he lives in Idaho, so he's probably relatively bored. And I understand he's probably seen Gremlins before and he probably saw The Omen too. One thing leads to another and next thing you know you're microwaving your hand. But what I don't understand is this; if you have Satan's hand or you've been marked by the devil as he obviously believed, why wouldn't you at least have some fun with it?

First thing I'd do... Craigs List for Satanists or MySpace goth people. Throw a picture of your hand up there and next thing you know, you're a leader of a cult. Free babes (albeit they'd probably be a bit weird and into some odd stuff), free kool-aid, and free black clothes. Or, if he felt the hand was possessed, why wouldn't he have done some crazy stuff with it. First thing I would do, see if I can play the fiddle, bc if I couldn't, than either Charlie Daniels is a liar or the hand isn't cursed and I wouldn't need to chop it off. Solves that problem.

Instead, Captain Insane-O thinks the best thing to do is chop his hand off. Maybe after Gremlins and The Omen, he watched Star Wars and figured he could just get a sweet Luke Skywalker hand made for him. Who knows... but this is where I get even more lost. Why microwave it?

One, the smell would be outrageous. Even worse than when the ladies in my office feel the overwhelming need to put popcorn on for 33:00.

Second, why waste a good devil hand? There's always people that can use a hand tattooed with the mark of the beast. You can at least use it for the next Omen-type movie.

And the last thing I don't understand is why drop acid with a saw right next to you? Of course you'll see the mark of Lucifer and cut your hand off. This guy was obviously not very bright. Everyone knows that hallucinogens don't mix well with murderous weapons. Sheesh.

CONCLUSION: Sir, you deserve to be down a hand in a mental institution for not only being Ozzy Osbourne crazy, but also b/c you're just downright wasteful.

Odd thought of the day: What if they had testograms? Like a mammogram for dudes, where they put your nuts in a squeezing machine to look for lumps. Guys, next time your ladies have to get a mammogram, think of that and be sympathetic b/c if my nuts were in a vice, I would hope she'd understand.

Yeah, I wrote it.

- Brad

The Return of the 1990s Gameshow

AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Who saw American Gladiators on Sunday night? I did. For the pre-game, I colored a tube sock with red, white, and blue Sharpies, attached a rubber band and made my first American Gladiators banana hammock.

Look, I grew up idolizing Nitro. Now, he knew how to Joust, Powerball, and Assault people. In all fairness, I'm sure all the AGs were good at assault as they were probably all date rapists.

For some reason, I've always felt like the American Gladiators were created like Bane was in the shittiest movie of all time, Batman and Robin, with some kind of super soldier juice. Then they came out only being able to mutter two words like Yarp and Narp, so they decided to make a show around them being meatheads.

So, onto the most recent American Gladiators shows. When I was a kid, I watched it pretty religiously, and by religiously I mean like every now and then Catholic religiously, not like Evangelical Christian religiously. I viewed it not because I was fascinated by their obviously juiced hugeness as people are with wrestlers these days, but mostly b/c I found the games entertaining. So, when I saw that most of the games from the old days (especially Assault) would be in the updated version, I was pretty damn happy. I was even happier when the first chick who decided to play tore her knee up pretty bad playing Powerball. Should I cheer when people get hurt? Not necessarily, but their cheeseball stories before they compete always help me hate them. Anyways, they showed her Twizzler-like leg buckle and her face melt like she was a Raider of the Lost Ark Nazi. I laughed.

As everybody who's anybody knows, AG ends with the Eliminator. It looked like it was going to eliminate everyone as by the end, all the contestants looked like me after 10 minutes of soccer. Ready to pass out, barf, and die. One girl ran her head into a pole and it started bleeding during the Eliminator. I cheered. Then, I laughed again. It was a lot like being a little kid and seeing your dad accidentally get hit in the nuts. It's both funny and enjoyable.

If you get an opportunity in the next few Mondays, roll on over to NBC and check out the new American Gladiators. If you don't get anything else, you'll at least get to see a Gladiator named Wolf that reminds you of a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter, Sabretooth, and a homeless that got confused and started injecting 'roids instead of heroin.

UPDATE: I am currently looking to re-enact an episode of American Gladiators in the Daybreak parking lot at some point.

We will putting two things of cotton candy on the end of a baseball bat and those will be our Joust poles. We will be holding this in the middle of the Daybreak lake, so I suggest you all bring a disinfectant.

Also, I will be wearing my banana hammock and throwing tennis balls at people while they try to shoot me with a Nerf bow and arrow.

We will have Gauntlet in my downstairs hallway, I'm currently working on Brett's banana hammock (a very short sock) and Brian's thong and we'll give them each a pillow and you'll have to try and get into the bathroom at the end of the hall. Seriously, it'll work.

Any ideas for the Eliminator?

GAS

Since we're on the topic of athletic type gameshows, I thought I'd rant about the expanded cable package with Cox. I pretty much get the expanded cable pack solely for Fox Soccer Channel. I watch something like 5 soccer games a week. I can't help it, I'm obsessed. But everytime I'm going through the channels in the Guide, I stop on one that is included that confuses me.

That, my friends, is GAS. Dont know what it stands for, but it's a Nickelodeon game show network. Quick, I'll give you a minute. Name Nickelodeon gameshows that you know. That's right! You won't get more than 5. That's b/c there were only 4 or 5. I am in complete shock that Cox paid to get this channel on the air. I'll focus on the three that I see on there the most. We'll go through it, discuss how shitty each show is and then I'll throw myself off the top of the Agrocrag.

GUTS



That's right. You recognize that guy. His name is Mike O'Malley. He co-starred in 'Yes, Dear', a horrible shitstorm of a show. He's also been on 'My Name Is Earl' and multiple ESPN commercials over the year.

That chick, her name was Moira something or another. And he used to always says, 'Break it down for us, Mo.' It hasn't gotten any less annoying. Plus, the kids were always in that middle school age where they look all gangly and goofy, like Jonathan Lipnicki or something. They all had braces and looked as if they were about as athletic as Stephen Hawking. It ended with this super intense romp through something they dubbed "The AGROCRAG". It was a glowing papier-mache mountain with tinsel, confetti, and middle school dance coconut smoke. If you won, you were awarded with a 'piece of the Crag', which Im sure every parent enjoyed finding a place for.

Marc Summers Shittiness Score: 3 Rug Hairs.

Legends of the Hidden Temple



I hate this show almost as much as Guts. If I wanted to practice reading comprehension, I would have taken the SATs in elementary school. This revolved around "Omec" some weird Incan God that would read the script from a Lifetime movie and then the kids would have answer questions about it. That, and they'd have some obstactle-like games. Each team would be some animal with a color in front of it. Like the Blue Barracudas, the Purple Parrots, or the Silver Snakes. Wow, I learned reading comprehension and alliteration! This IS a fun gameshow. Seriously, Cox, I have a great idea for a channel. It's called "GAS: The Deuce". It's 24 hours of me 'logging' some hours in the john.

Marc Summers Shittiness Score (alliteration!): 14 Rug Hairs.

DOUBLE DARE 2000



I could have sworn I had seen this before. OH WAIT, I DID! It was called Double Dare. I do appreciate you throwing a curve ball by adding a 2000 on the end and acting like it's all high-tech. Well, guess what? It's the same show. The exact same show except Summers had gotten treatment for his OCD, so even he became lame. I think my problem with all of these shows is not necessarily that they suck, but the fact that they haven't been new in almost a decade. Seriously, these kids are all graduating college. Why are these still being rerun? Can Nickelodeon not afford new gameshows? Is this channel only for pedophiles? Is it still teaching kids valuable information from the 1990s? Are they still trying to raise money to pay off that expensive Agrocrag?

Seriously. What a turd of a channel...

Marc Summers Shittiness Score: 1 Rug Hair (I found this show relatively tolerable)

Conclusion

Be on the lookout for a new blog in the next few weeks. I'm going to discuss my new favorite show of all time, 30 ROCK, as well as detail my favorite driving songs, perhaps my favorite songs of all time, and a few other nuggets of me being a moron.

That's right, I wrote it.

- Brad